Happiness

30Jun10

I was worried about attending the kids’ school play and second graduation ceremony after having such a bad experience the day before (Monday), but Tuesday night went so well – I couldn’t be happier!

I tried to be positive and clear my mind of the incidents of the day before, where I encountered someone who blocked my view, and I had to do some uncomfortable manoevering to see my son’s first graduation ceremony (they do a lot of ceremonies in this school!) I came prepared, took my breakthrough painkillers, arrived extra early, sat in the front row, tried to avoid crowds by arriving so early and timing my movements to when the crowds would be less active ( they offered a snack buffet which we didn’t stay for – partly because of the crowd that I wouldn’t be confident to manoever, and partly because I had been sitting for 3 hours by that time and would need to get home to lie down and rest by then). So, some planning went into it, things went smoothly, I handled myself much better – and I even went for my short walk in the morning, giving myself ample time to lie down between the walk and the time I needed to go out. One thing I did take a chance on was washing my hair and taking a bath – I don’t normally do that the same day as I’m going out. I’ll take a quick bath, but I won’t wash my hair – I find it too tiring. However, this day I hadn’t had the chance until the very day, and I did everything and coped. It must be a signal as to how much better I am feeling compared to not only before I had my gall bladder surgery, but even how I was last fall.

On another note, I went for a long shopping trip today with my hubby and was walking for nearly 2 1/2 hours straight! I couldn’t believe it! I was in a lot of pain, and had to take my breakthrough meds twice, but I managed. I was truly limping by the time I got home, however I did even stay downstairs for dinner, whereas most nights I would have been lying in bed by then. I feel like I’m pushing myself a bit every day, even in the small stuff, and making small improvements with every choice. My walks may take 5 minutes now, but I’m building for the future. I’m able to sit up more, where I used to have to lie down for most of the time. I’m hoping I’m able to continue this. Even pushing through the pain, I’m going to try and limit the use of pain management medication because I don’t want to mask any pain that may signal I’m injuring myself, as opposed to using underused muscles.

I had an interesting musing today. I sat down at the baby area of Toys r’ Us, in a rocking chair. It was located right beside the registration desk, and there was no one around when I sat down. The clerk came by, looked at me, and went to the counter, fiddled with some stuff and left. She didn’t ask me if I needed any help. I wondered if I hadn’t had my cane with me if I would have looked more like a customer instead of a woman resting herself. I did have items I wanted to purchase in my hand, so I was obviously shopping. Or it could just mean I look too old to be a new mom – LOL! Anyway, maybe she ignores everyone unless they ask her for assistance, but it did make me wonder about it. Gave me something to do while I waited for the knot in my back to subside – then again, I may have had a pained look on my face, too! I try to hide those, but I’m bad at it, so I’ve heard!

All in all, a positive couple of days. I feel like I’m managing things pretty well at the moment, and I’m going to work hard to hold on to this magic. I know I need to be less uptight, but I’m a rather uptight person – that part is hard for me to reform. I’m working on it, and trying to forgive myself. Cut myself some slack, as it were.

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